Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Word On Paula Deen

Because so many of you asked me to weigh in on the Paula Deen situation, I feel that I must.

First off, I can't stand Paula. With her fake Southern hospitality and her too-white teeth. But, in this instance, I have to come to her defense. Here's why:

If she had diabetes in the 1970s, only her doctor and her pharmacist would know. And they would giggle about it together at the country club and say stuff like, "Ain't she eccentric? That quirky broad got a million-dollar empire and can't eat her own food." And then they'd golf and have a coupla highballs afterward and that would be all. Sure, maybe a few folks around Savannah would whisper about it, but it wouldn't be some stupid SCANDAL. It wouldn't necessitate a panel on the "Today" show calling her out and saying she's "egregious." As if she'd been throwing babies down a well or somethin.

So the woman who makes fattening recipes has diabetes. BFD. Not my problem. I don't go to Paula Deen for health advice. Cuz I'm NOT STUPID. Last time I went to her website I was looking for a six-egg breakfast casserole for a New Year's Eve party. If I want tofu stir fry, I log in to my Weight Watchers account. Whatever meal I pick, that's on me.

I mean, seriously, did anybody ever call Julia Child out for all her heavy cream French recipes? Or her gigantism? Hell no. Quite the opposite. They made a movie about her and put Meryl Streep on a pedestal so she could play the part.

Oh, but, Paula is supposed to SHOW US how to eat healthy now that she's got diabetes. Bull. That's like looking in the Dumbass section of the library hoping to find that Einstein bio. Or asking Lisa Bonet, "Should I immunize my kids?"

Paula, eat what you want and cook what you want and make money how you want. Rock on with your capitalism and donate a portion of your diabetes medicine spokeswoman money to the American Diabetes Association. Last time I checked, that's what makes America great. And if people wanna eat a cheeseburger between donuts, well, that's on them.

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