Monday, February 13, 2012

Eco-Friendly Birthday Party, My Butt

To the mom who hosted an exhausting eco-friendly birthday party for her kid (

Here are 5 things I found misguided about your approach:

1. You hosted it on Super Bowl Sunday. Seriously, dude, are you that freaking selfish to think that folks wanna hang out with your kid on the biggest football day of the year?

2. Your goal was to host a bash that generated no garbage, but you held the party at Go-Kart World? Don't pat yourself on the back too hard about carpooling to get there.

3. You made tamales instead of hot dogs because it eliminated the plastic bags that the hot dogs and buns are packaged in. OK, that's cool. But, seriously, who the hell likes to eat tamales? I'm not hating. I'm just saying they taste like crap.

4. and 5. "Unfortunately for my son, some parents took the request for little or no waste to mean 'Don't bother bringing a present,' which, at the end of what turned out to be an eight-hour extravaganza, ended with my son storming off to his room." I don't even know where to start with that sentence. What are parents supposed to bring to a no-waste party? A sack of flour? In a biodegradable unbleached cotton sack, no doubt. Also, maybe your kid stormed off to his room because eight hours of anything is about seven hours too long.

I'm all for saving the earth and being all sustainable and stuff, but, really? Your party sounds awful.

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